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Stuart K. Hayashi

I’ve published posts here for the benefit of my troubled friend but the truth is that if she ever came across this blog again, there are much better and more helpful posts I have written. Years ago I made an entire blog on the subject when my knowledge of it was much fresher in my mind: Letters to Derna (Stouthammer).

Also, I have written much-more-interesting blog posts exposing some falsehoods she and I were both told on topics of political economy not directly related to BPD. The truth is in my essays “Is the Pirating of Intellectual Property Just a Form of Intra-Industry Competition?” (spoiler: it’s not) and “Libertarians and the Myth of the Winner-Takes-All Patent Monopoly.”

Years ago, I wrote a post titled “More BPD Treatments on Oahu.” The links on my old post are mostly outdated. Therefore, if my friend somehow stumbles upon this, here is an update.

Psychology Today magazine still has a directory of mental-health professionals in Hawai‘i who treat BPD and with whom you can speak in person. The link to the updated directory, as of my typing this, is here.

I was also impressed to learn that DBT-Hawaii — dialectical behavior therapy is one form of treatment for BPD — is still in operation, and at the same URL as it was so many years ago.

I have found some YouTube videos from psychologists that explain very articulately what happened between us. I was what psychologists call the “Favorite Person” of someone who has borderline personality disorder. As the psychologists’ understanding predicted would happen, you eventually unpersoned me. It happens that in the role of Favorite Person, you replaced me with Pretentious, Chalky-White-Face-Corpse Artist, as he and his sister-in-law and brother have been all too willing to reinforce your morbid gestures and the façades you have put on.

   

   

   

 In this video, Dr. Fox says that persons suffering from BPD often have difficulties with their memories.

   

  

Dr. Fox explains that one of the “worst coping strategies” is “emotional numbing.” Here, as emotions are often very painful, there is a great temptation to try to avoid emotions and emotional attachment. Such a policy can be phrased as “Keeping my feelings to myself has always been the safest choice.” No, it is not. As Dr. Fox notes, such emotional numbing “temporarily blocks pain but prevents healing.”

A therapist named Betty DeShong Meador wisely observed, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” That empowerment in life can be yours, if only you choose to commit to it. 🥲